Discovery finally aired its “Eaten Alive” special last night, and surprise, wildlife filmmaker Paul Rosolie did not actually get eaten by an anaconda as he (and the numerous Discovery promos for the show) had promised.
Instead of some titillating footage from the belly of the beast, viewers stupid enough to tune in to the two-hour special were treated to approximately 90 minutes of Rosolie and his team searching the Amazon for an anaconda, followed by 10 minutes of dramatic build-up as the anaconda squeezes his supposed snake-proof suit, before the naturalist taps out because his arm hurt.
Yup, that’s all we got. Rosolie took two hours to do what the “Jackass” spinoff “Wildboyz” could have accomplished in thirty seconds.
Just like “Eaten Alive,” this “Wildboyz” clip shows us a dangerous snake foolishly provoked by an entertainer who chickens out at the first sign of provocation. At least Chris Pontius and Steve O were courteous enough not to waste two hours of everyone’s time or pretend to be something they weren’t. In the end, the wildlife filmmaker who spent two hours in the Amazon teaching us absolutely nothing is the real jackass.