Arlington native Dane Cook, the biggest comedy superstar of the MySpace era, isn’t exactly relevant anymore. Maybe that’s why he felt comfortable being so candid with Bravo’s Andy Cohen on “Watch What Happens Live” on how many college groupies he’s banged, how stupid Jessica Simpson is, and Kate Hudson’s biggest flaw — her bad breath. Or maybe he’s just a jerk.
When Cohen asked how many girls Cook slept with on his big college tour (likely referring to “Tourgasm,” his 30-day 20-college tour in 2005 which was turned into an HBO series), Cook was sure to mention that all the groupie sex-having was during “his younger days,” before admitting to a “few hundred” one-night stands. You know, back in 2005, when Cook was basically still a kid, at the tender age of… 33. *vomits*
Other insights from Cook’s interview:
Most Overrated Comic: Gallagher (Wait, people liked Gallagher at some point?)
Worst On-Screen Kiss: Kate Hudson, who Cook claims must have eaten “a feast of onions” before make-out scenes in “My Best Friend’s Girl.” (Gee, I wonder why.)
Dumbest Thing Jessica Simpson Ever Said: (On the set of “Employee of the Month”) “Are we making a movie?” (OK, that’s pretty dumb. Free pass, Dane.)
Comic He’d “Swim in the Man Pond” With: Gary Gulman (I’ll admit I hadn’t heard of Gulman, but given the deepness of the v-neck on this t-shirt, I can easily picture him and Cook frolicking in the man pond together before making sweet douche love.)
Never change, Dane.