We may finally get some Spring this weekend, which is good because the new Netflix movies don’t seem to really be up to par. That said, you may find some joy in “Turbo,” or get creepily attached to the show “Breaking Amish.”

“Turbo” (2013)
This DreamWorks flick has kids believing that snails can run fast or something? Is this the kind of message we want our children receiving? I guess if it’s voiced by Ryan Reynolds and Paul Giamatti we should just let it slide, huh? The gall of some people, I’ll tell you.

“Uptown Girls” (2013)
Billy Joel wrote this song about his future wife Christie Brinkley, but they ended up splitting, so this movie was made instead. Brittany Murphy is a really childish adult who is hired to nanny an incredibly mature 8-year-old Dakota Fanning. You would think this would create a bunch of hilarious problems, which it does, but in a naturally heartwarming fashion, everything ends up working itself out.

“The Starving Games” (2013)
Parodying movies has become our generation’s way of tricking money out of teenagers. At least when Weird Al parodied other people’s music it was hilarious. I’m sure you could guess by the title that this movie is a take on “The Hunger Games,” and it’s probably worth about as much as you’re going to pay for it on Netflix.

“P!nk: The Truth About Love Tour” (2013)
Remember during the Grammys this year when P!nk was doing aerial gymnastics while singing and some people were like, “where’d she learn how to do that?” and others were like, “that’s a bit much”? Well, you may be able to see how she does it by watching some of her recent tour footage.

“How I Live Now” (2013)
In the future, an American teenager is sent to live with relatives in the UK despite a war going on there. Amidst the confusion of being in a new country, much less one in which there is conflict, she falls in love with an Englishman. It’s true though, there is a certain charm to those accents.

“Breaking Amish” (2012)
Remember the movie “Kingpin”? This is nothing like it. “Kingpin” was fictional, and while “Breaking Amish” is likely a staged show, its corruption of the one group of people in the US that lives fully independent of media is very real.

“Legend of the Fist: Return of Chen Zen” (2010)
Here’s a pretty decent kung-fu movie if you’re into that kind of thing.