To all of the blissfully unaware young hopefuls, slumming it on Tinder or OKCupid every weekend-and on Thirsty Thursdays– it’s time for an upgrade. The League, an elite new dating app, is ushering in a new era of swiping standards. “No Fakes” and “No Randoms” are allowed to join The League. According to Business Week, the apps founder, Amanda Bradford, recently earned a degree from Stanford’s Graduate School of Business, which likely explains why she is only interested in superior sperm interacting with superior eggs.
When signing up for The League, applicants must report intimate details about their salary, wardrobe, and hobbies. Anything less than the filet mignon of dating meat out there will not be accepted. The app’s goal is to connect the best looking, most successful people with those few lucky bastards in the area who are “in their league.” I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m using a screenshot of Mila Kunis for my prof-pic.