“Beach House,” the aptly named seventh episode of this “Girls” season, takes place in a Long Island home that serves as the Sartrean setting for the unraveling of Marnie’s latest plan: a female bonding sesh. Unfortunately, the weekend barely resembles what uptight Marnie imagined, and while it’s unclear if the foursome were able to prove to everyone “via Instagram” that they “can still have fun as a group,” it’s obvious that the subterranean relationships between these women do exist – even if the girls need to carve each other’s hearts out with razor-sharp words.

OK, sure, it ends without significant bloodshed. And like the true nature of unconditional relationships, they just put the clean glasses away and go home. But before that, Dunham allows the most unsuspecting of characters to get in some epic digs at the others.

Hannah runs into her one-time flame/ex-roommate Elijah and his three bitchy friends, including a person who apparently did “the whoooole viral marketing campaign” for Kinky Boots. Besides insulting her super-tacky, inappropriate bikini get-up, he finally apologizes for sleeping with Marnie and admits how much he misses her. Hannah invites the guys over, Marnie becomes more annoying than anyone thought possible, chaos ensues.

(But the expertly choreographed dance to Harry Nilsson’s “You’re Breaking My Heart” is what TV miracles are made of.)

The hours pass. Shoshanna finally cracks, and the whole thing spirals out of control.

“I wanted to fall asleep in my own vomit all day, listening to you talk about how you bruise more easily than other people.”

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“That duck tasted like a used condom and I want to forget about it.”

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“You treat me like I’m a fucking cab driver.” 

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“Seriously, Jessa goes to rehab for five fucking seconds and we have to listen to everything she comes up with.”

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“You are tortured by self-doubt and fear, and it is not pleasant to be around.”

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Finally, Shoshanna! Just as cruel as the others, and yet somehow significantly more self-aware. I love it.

Extra credit: 

“I don’t think you’re very talented.” / “I spent $80,000 on a theater BFA — cf course I’m talented!”