It has been another crazy week in pop culture, so we’re perfectly happy selling our souls via Kickstarter and pawning off some saucy celebrity dirt for the right price. The Pop Culture Kickstarter is a regular round-up of all of the wild stuff you’ve missed on the Internet in the past week if you don’t spend as much time on Facebook as we shamefully do. If you haven’t heard which celebrity hunk is off the market or which actual Kickstarter campaign is making millions in the name of food, read on and get your pennies ready.
|Pledge $3 and a pack of Newport Menthols|
Reward: Go behind the scenes of “Sharknado 2: The Second One” with Tara Reid
The trailer for the follow-up to last summer’s Syfy smash hit “Sharknado,” was released this week and it’s predictably one of the worst things on the Internet right now. For just a few dollars and some of your valuable time, you could spend time on the set of this masterpiece with the film’s star Tara Reid, as well as co-stars like Mark McGrath and Andy Dick.
Estimated Delivery: Pretty quickly, about the time it appeared for them to make this dreadful movie.
|Pledge $3.45 with valid coupon from Shaw’s|
Reward: Reasonably priced potato salad.
For a meager $3.45 we’ll use all the potatoes we hurriedly bought up in the area where Zack Danger Brown lives in the days leading up to his potato salad event, and make you some basic Hellmann’s Original Potato Salad featuring potatoes, mayo, some vinegar, salt and onion.
Estimated Delivery: The mayo jar says 10 minute prep time and 15 cook time.
|Pledge $100,000 and some Old Spice bath gel|
Reward: Lionel Messi will take his post-game shower in front of your very eyes.
The most entertaining World Cup in a generation comes down to a final match that pits the planet’s best player – Messi – against the tournament’s best team. But while some of the biggest names in football are playing in the upcoming finals of the Fifa World Cup, we’re sure some of the ladiezzz have found their concentration slipping during the countless matches in Brazil. Each game is like an eye-watering display of great muscle in skintight nothingness, and cute little shorts; most of what’s underneath being left to the imagination, until now!
Estimated Delivery: The same amount of time it took Germany to completely dismantle Brazil and score seven goals.
|Pledge $500 and a stale pint of Guinness|
Reward: Garth Brooks will do as he said he would and “crawl, swim or fly to Dublin this weekend and will drop to my knees and beg for those 400,000 people to just be allowed to have fun.”
As the international saga between one of the highest grossing country singers of all time, Garth Brooks, and the city council of Dublin, trudges on over whether or not Brooks should be allowed to play all five consecutive sold out shows at Dublin’s Croke Park despite complaints from local business owners stationed around the venue that say traffic and the ‘special event’ will hinder business, The Lord Mayor suggests local residents around Croke Park who are in favor of the shows should seeking an approach to US President Barack Obama to try to break the impasse. Word on the street is that President Obama is eager to make a statement about the affair after he announces that the busloads of displaced Mexican children being caravanned to the US will be placed in the homes of the overzealous American militia members that plan on protecting the border themselves.
Estimated Delivery: However long it takes Brooks to chug a four pack of Guinness cans without barfing.
|Pledge $50,000 and a lock of Justin Timberlake’s hair|
Reward: Britney Spears will put all autotune rumors to rest with an official Twitter announcement, tagging you in the process.
Supposedly the leaked recording of the “Baby One More Time,” singer sounding as flat as a pancake was just her warming up and helping sound engineers prepare to record “while having a cup of herb tea,” alleges her producer. It’s no shock that the burned-out teen pop phenomenon regularly sounds like errant noises of two cats fighting since a lot of pop artists have been outed for how they sing without digital correction, but it’s no exaggeration to say that any one of us could probably carry a stronger vocal performance than hers at some late Friday night karaoke session.
Estimated Delivery: By the time Britney starts dating another one of her background dancers.
|Pledge $1,000,000 and the tears of every lonely bachelorette|
Reward: Exclusive middle-naming rights to Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendez’s baby.
Yes, we’re sorry to anyone who isn’t already aware, but international dreamboat Ryan Gosling, AKA Baby Goose, will be having a baby with girlfriend Eva Mendez. We haven’t seen ultrasound pictures yet, but we’re assuming this child will have a caramel skin tone, and unbelievably defined jawline, and an otherwise incredibly cut bod. You’ll definitely want to name this little guy while you have the chance.
Estimated Delivery: About nine months, but you’ll receive an email as contractions grow.