Growing up, teachers always told us there’s no such thing as a stupid question. Unfortunately, teachers are liars. Lucky for all the stupid question-askers of the world, when a question is too insipid to put into words, you just Google it! With that in mind, Google released its year-end search data for 2014, and Massachusetts residents had some pretty absurd queries.
First up, here’s the top 10 ‘What is…’ questions for Massachusetts in 2014.
Top-10 What is… Questions for Massachusetts in 2014
1. What is Ebola?
2. What is ALS?
3. What is accounting?
4. What is socialism?
5. What is imagery?
6. What is maltose?
7. What is mononucleosis?
8. What is stress?
9. What is alimony?
10. What is diabetes?
Truth be told, I had to look up #6 while writing this article. And the rest of those searches aren’t too stupid either. If someone asked me if I knew what imagery is I’d say yes, but if they asked me to explain it in a concise fashion I’d say… um… like, describing something like a picture, or something… yeah. Not too bad, Massachusetts.
Top-10 How To… Questions for Massachusetts in 2014
1. How to juggle
2. How to focus
3. How to shave
4. How to tinder
5. How to sing
6. How to draw
7. How to save
8. How to detox
9. How to declutter
10. How to annotate
This is where the Bay State goes off the rails a bit. Sure, everyone needs a little help saving and everyone who’s 14 years old needs a little help shaving, but how were those beaten by ‘how to juggle?’ Something tells me the Big Apple Circus is going to see a big uptick in auditions this spring.
Meanwhile, ‘how to tinder’ came in at #4, because apparently Massachusetts residents have yet to discover Buzzfeed, Huffington Post or any other site on the Internet in the last two years.
Google also provided the top 10 “trending searches” in Massachusetts…
Top-10 Trending Searches in Massachusetts in 2014
1. Robin Williams
2. World Cup
3. Ebola
4. Joan Rivers
5. Phillip Seymour Hoffman
6. Boston Marathon
7. Malaysia Airlines
8. Ray Rice
9. Jennifer Lawrence
10. ALS
…as well as the top 10 news and events, which basically seems like the same thing minus specific celebrities.
Top-10 News and Events for Massachusetts in 2014
1. World Cup
2. Ebola
3. Boston Marathon
4. Malaysia Airlines
5. ALS
6. Ferguson
7. Olympics
8. Easter 2014
9. Super Bowl 2014
10. ISIS
Interesting stuff, but nothing can top the commonwealth’s secret desire to juggle everything from flaming torches to flaming hot one-night stands on Tinder.
