Video

The first trailer for the infamous upcoming film adaptation of “50 Shades of Grey” surfaced today, and you can tell it’s already extremely popular because it’s in the Facebook trending box (the ultimate indicator of things that are of public interest). Many people have been speculating about this film for sometime, and while it likely doesn’t boil down to a male vs. female difference, we figured it may provide a dichotomy in opinions to gather the first impressions of one of each. What are your thoughts on the trailer? Does it look like a win or a yawn?

Perspective #1: Katy Nastro, female, 24

In my female opinion, the Fifty Shades trailer debut can only be expressed by none other than R&B star Ray J’s lyrics – “SEX-y Can I?” Applause to the editors for crafting such an intense tease…hmm wonder where they learned how to ‘tease’ so well? Jamie Dornan is smoldering, intensely sexy, and fills out a pair of Levi’s pretty darn nicely. Dakota Johnson went from blonde bombshell to homely brunette, who has 100% convinced me already she’s into some naughtiness. Women young and old around the world will be gasping for air and all thinking the same thing: DaYummmm!

Perspective #2: Perry Eaton, male, 25

This was so underwhelming that the most exciting part was the slowed-down version of “Crazy in Love.” I blame my expectations though. Granted it’s only a trailer, and my hopes weren’t necessarily high, but from the reviews I had gathered from the book, terms like “book porn,” “erotic,” and “perverted,” were all regularly used. Now, before you go thinking I’m a huge sicko, I was less underwhelmed by the fact that this didn’t translate as Hollywood porn, and more disappointed at how formulaic it seemed. It’s 2014 goddammit, this trailer is nothing more than a reinforcement of gender norms, portraying the woman as a helpless submissive and the dreamy male as an almost antagonistically aggressive sick fuck. That’s what everyone’s getting all hot and bothered about? And to be perfectly honest, for the Internet Age, this looks pretty PG. Somewhere in California, the CEO of Pornhub is chuckling to himself.