In case the Patriots’ 41-14 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs last night wasn’t embarrassing enough, this video of a Chiefs fan air-humping the face of a contrite Patriots supporter really hammers home the utter destruction Patriot Nation suffered at Arrowhead Stadium.
Sure, we could mock the boorishness of the fan, who switches from a Bud Light phallus to an imaginary one mid-thrust, perhaps worried he might spill a drop of precious beer-flavored piss water. Or we could note that chanting “USA!” while ineffectually humping the air is a perfect metaphor for Kansas City at large. But like that poor Patriots fan, we’re just gonna sit here and take it.
The fact is, there is something seriously wrong with the Patriots, and making jokes about the Chiefs’ historical futility (no Super Bowl appearances since 1969), or hysterical weight problems (no refusals of second helpings of barbecue since time immemorial), would be childish. Instead, we salute you, Chiefs fan, for personifying what Jamaal Charles did to the Patriots defense last night.