Whether you’ve had divorced parents for half your life or half a year, the holidays can be extra stressful. Everyone has a different circumstance, of course, but as a kid of divorce (well, technically my parents were never even married), I figure I may have some good insight for my fellow 20-somethings on how to cope with the holidays when you’re trying to be in multiple places at the same time for a holiday that emphasizes “family togetherness.” Here’s eight things I’ve learned.
| 1. | Don’t overcommit |
Try not to run around like crazy and try to catch three different holiday meals all in one day, or buy an extraordinarily expensive last minute ticket to fly across the country for a two-day visit with anyone. You could spend Christmas with Mom if you spent Thanksgiving with Dad, or do Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with the other. Make a Skype call to your Grandma and promise her you’ll make it to Florida for a visit soon, some time when the airfare is more reasonable. (GIF credit)
| 2. | Behave yourself |
If you’re eating a holiday meal with some new in-laws or steps — try not to be a bitch/dick to your parents or their new family members. These arrangements take everyone some getting used to. Try to be agreeable, talk about very neutral topics (avoid religion and politics at all costs), and keep a smile on your face. (GIF credit)
| 3. | No guilt tripping each other |
If your parents are sending you on a guilt trip about how you’re spending your holiday, you reserve every right to call them out on it. If your parents are still fighting with each other about what you and your siblings should be doing, tell them to cool it and remind them that this time of the year is supposed to be about togetherness. The same goes for you — try not to make your parents feel guilty, either. They’re having a hard time, too. (GIF credit)
| 4. | Find a pal with whom to commiserate |
The statistical reports vary, but roughly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, so it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Chances are, you’ve got lots of friends who deal with the same stuff you do this time of year. And remember, even your friends who have what appears to be a perfect happily married family probably also have some home issues that get messy this time of year. Invite someone home with you for the holidays who can’t or won’t go see their own family. Alternatively, make plans to meet up with old friends from high school who are also looking for an escape from family drama. (GIF credit)
| 5. | Have a drink |
No matter who you’re spending the holiday with, don’t rule out booze — but don’t overdo it, either. You might want to take the edge off, but don’t get wasted because that probably won’t end well. You don’t want to get drunk and say something you regret. Follow that rule about having only one drink per hour or something … however that rule goes. (GIF credit)
| 6. | Eat your feelings |
This is the only time of year I condone this. Eating whatever you want between Thanksgiving and Christmas is completely acceptable. That’s what New Year’s resolutions are for — vowing to eat better, but only after all the holiday cookies are gone. (GIF credit)
| 7. | Start a new tradition |
If it’s too much to see your whole family in December, make alternative arrangements. How about celebrating Christmas a week late with your siblings so you can do all your shopping during the post-Christmas sales? You could invent a new holiday — like George Costanza’s father did with Festivus on “Seinfeld.” Or maybe you could celebrate Christmas in July with your parent who lives a long flight away now? (GIF credit)
| 8. | Do your own thing |
Whatever it is, if the holiday situation is stressful, you can always find some peace in solitude. If you have agreed to spending the holidays at an overwhelming family gathering, be sure sneak away for a moonlit walk with the dog or lock yourself in the guest bedroom for a while with a good book. If dealing with the fam is too much altogether, kindly decline attendance. It’s OK to take this year off — send nice gifts or cards to your relatives and spend the holidays this year however you want. Take a beach vacation with your significant other, have a low-key celebration with other friends who won’t be going home, or give back to the community by volunteering at a soup kitchen. (GIF credit)
