Ridiculous

Craigslist for the Big Screen is a BDCwire feature that takes a local Craigslist post (from a Missed Connection to a Rant & Rave) and brings it to life, theoretically “adapting” it for the big screen.

This week… 

“Straight out of the 1950s – m4w – 28 (Orange, Blue line 1/2/2015)”

(click to enlarge)

Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 12.08.23 AM

FADE IN:

 

INT. THE T – EVENING

The T is the same as it always is: kinda dreary, crowded with some miserable-looking people, a little too warm, you know.  On this particular day, however, it’s made all the worse by the harsh weather outside.

The T comes to its regular stop.  ROY (28) steps onto the T, tired-looking and dressed as if he’s just left work.  He’s your average joe, with an expression that is somewhat defeated yet hopeful.  The T begins to move once again.

Roy makes his way to an open seat.  As he’s about to sit, a pretty YOUNG WOMAN (24) with blonde hair stumbles into him.

ROY

Oh, I’m sorry.

The young woman is wearing earbuds.  She just smiles.  Roy is beaming.  He gestures to the seat.

ROY

Would you like to sit?

The young woman takes out her earbuds.

YOUNG WOMAN

What?

ROY

Would you like to sit?

YOUNG WOMAN

Oh, sure.  Thanks.

She sits.  Roy continues to smile.

ROY

So, are you…

She puts her earbuds back in and looks away.  Roy sighs.

He moves down the train a bit.  He hangs onto the railing for support.

He observes his surroundings: a SMALL FAMILY of four who doesn’t appear to speak much English, a TEENAGE BOY (18) asleep with his hood on, an OLD COUPLE (70s) sitting next to each other with bags of groceries, a YOUNG COUPLE (20s) giggling and holding hands.  Roy looks at them longingly.  He sighs and shuts his eyes.

The T comes to a stop once again.  You can hear the chatter of people leaving and entering the train.  It begins to move once again.

Roy opens his eyes and sees standing near the small family… MARILYN MONROE (30), as curvy and beautiful as she was.  He blinks hard.  He looks around at the other passengers.  He looks back at her.  She effortlessly does a little twirl and smiles.

Roy leans in towards the teenage boy.

ROY

Are you seeing this, kid?

The boy startles awake.

TEENAGE BOY

Shut up, man.  Can’t you see I’m trying to sleep?

The boy pulls his hood on even tighter.

Roy looks back, and there’s Marilyn.  She lights a cigarette and exhales slowly.  Roy is astounded.  His eyes are nearly falling out of his head.  Roy gestures towards her.

ROY

Are any of you seeing this?

There’s the low rumble of unhappy passengers who just want quiet.  Roy looks back and sees Marilyn, still standing there.  She grins and winks at him.  Roy’s expression goes from shocked to ecstatic.

The T begins to slow down for the next stop.  It appears that Marilyn will be getting off, as she pulls herself together.  The T stops.  Roy puffs up his chest and walks over to Marilyn.  He sidles up next to her.

ROY

Marilyn, I presume?

SNAP.  Back to reality.  Roy finds himself standing next to a BLONDE (28), but it certainly isn’t Marilyn Monroe.

BLONDE

Excuse me?

Roy’s expression fades into nothing.

ROY

Oh, I was just… um…

BLONDE

Good one, creep.

She steps off the T, with the small family trailing behind her.

ROY

No, no, you’ve got it all wrong!  I thought you were Marilyn!

The door closes.  Roy turns to see the rest of the passengers staring at him.  The T suddenly begins to move.  Roy slips and falls onto the wet, muddy floor.

FADE OUT.