The world descends on Boston for marathon weekend, and the city rises to the occasion with lots of options to keep you far away from annoying Midwestern tourists who walk really slow and don’t know how to ride escalators (stand on the right, Ohio!) Take your pick from art, dance, music, comedy, and theater — oh and science, because every course of study should require at least one token math or science class so it looks like you’re learning something practical.

Thursday, April 16 – Third Thursdays: Making Your Mark
The Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum’s Third Thursdays: Making Your Mark partners with ONEin3 Boston for an evening exploring ways that young professionals in Boston engage with civic, artistic, and social life. How will Boston remember you after you’re gone? (Not gone like dead, just like after you moved to Brooklyn or the suburbs or whatever.) Sure, not all of us can leave a legacy like founding a museum or recommending life-changing events to a grateful populace every week. Maybe you just stuck some googly eyes onto your neighbor’s pretentious lawn statues and helped brighten a few days. Still counts. The event also celebrates jazz singer Billie Holiday on the 100th anniversary of her birth with a performance by Jasmine Jefferson. (5:30 p.m., $5-15, 21+)

Friday to Sunday, April 17-19 – Boston Conservatory: Limitless
For its spring dance concert Limitless, the Boston Conservatory dance division is bringing in some heavy hitters on the choreography circuit. Students will perform works by Alvin Ailey artistic director Robert Battle, audience favorite Danny Buraczeski, Beyoncé’s choreographer Darrell Moultrie, and more. Wait, you thought Beyoncé just made up all of her dance moves on the spot, and controlled her backup dancers through some sort of Illuminati hypnosis? Nah, she had some help, just like she had some help writing her lyrics and producing her album, unlike Beck who does all that AND does all his own choreography AND makes delicious sandwiches for his roadies and that’s why he won the Grammy. (Various times, $25-30, all ages)

Friday to Sunday, April 17-19 – Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival
Comedian Eugene Mirman grew up in Lexington and graduated from Hampshire College with a degree in comedy through under the school’s “choose your own major” program. (How far can you go with that? Like could I major in the Swedish Chef from The Muppets?) It worked out because now he’s on television shows and has a comedy festival named after him. The Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival returns to the Brattle and Schubert Theatres with a packed lineup of shows featuring Mirman, Jon Glaser, H. Jon Benjamin, Wyatt Cenac, and lots more. Oh and also Bill Nye the Science Guy, who seems to think we already forgot about the time he called Bill Belichick a liar. Watch your back, Nye. (Various times, prices, and ages)

Friday to Sunday, April 17-26 – Cambridge Science Festival
Just kidding, of course. Bill Nye makes science fun, and not by melting stuff with Bunsen burners, messing around with dangerous chemicals, and generally creating such an unsafe environment that my entire AP Chemistry class wasn’t allowed to do labs anymore (sorry about that, guys). Nye’s StarTalk Live! show is co-presented by the Cambridge Science Festival, back for another year with ten days of lectures, debates, exhibitions, concerts, workshops, and more. There’s also a science carnival and robot zoo on Saturday so, you know, check that out, or stay far, far away if you’re like me and regard robots like snakes and scorpions: I’m never deliberately going anywhere that increases the probability that I’m going to see one. (Various times, prices, and ages)

Saturday, April 18 – Bookish Ball & Shakespeare Birthday Celebration
Celebrate the Bard’s cake day at Harvard Square’s eighth annual Bookish Ball & Shakespeare Birthday Celebration at bookstores, bars, and throughout the square. The festivities include a Sonnet-a-thon in the Pit, birthday cake, and performances by members of the Actors’ Shakespeare Project, Bridge Repertory Theatre, and the cast of Shit-faced Shakespeare, who will make a rare sober appearance because this is a family-friendly event. So if someone does the Othello scene where they talk about “making the beast with two backs,” check around for kids before you tell your friends, “That means doin’ it.” (12 p.m., FREE, all ages)

Saturday, April 18 – Trill Presents: Downeast Cider House Music Festival
Who wouldn’t love to party under a bridge? OK, probably not Anthony Kiedis, I’ll give you that. But everyone else would! Trill presents the Downeast Cider House Music Festival, the first local music festival held under the Tobin Bridge, featuring a lineup of seven bands including The Western Den and Grey Season, cider and beer, games, and more. And by “and more” I obviously mean getting drunk and forcing random passersby to answer your riddles three before you let them cross. (12 p.m., $10, 21+)

Saturday, April 18 – Farm to Glass Mixology Throwdown
A fundraiser for Massachusetts Farmers’ Markets, the second annual Farm to Glass Mixology Throwdown at the W Hotel challenges some of the city’s best bartenders to create signature cocktails using farm-fresh ingredients. Here’s what I’d do: Buy a bunch of fruit from the farmers’ market, make a big batch of sangria, throw a party, then the next morning take all of the leftover fruit at the bottom of people’s discarded cups and make a kick-ass smoothie. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint, then go outside to smoke a cigarette, squinting into the harsh mid-morning sun and wondering where your life went wrong. (1 p.m., $65, 21+)

Sunday, April 19 – Midnight Marathon Bike Ride
You could totally run the marathon, except you’ve never run more than three miles at a time and anyways, you’re not much of a morning person. But you can still join Sunday night’s Midnight Marathon Bike Ride, the annual two-wheeled trek along the marathon route from Hopkington to Boston. You can even have your bike trucked from South Station to the starting line, and enjoy a sweet post-ride pancake breakfast to benefit the Home Away Fund. Roads will be open to vehicle traffic during the ride, so be careful and don’t use that as an excuse to start a Midnight Marathon Car Drive for you and your lazy friends who hate exercise but love pancakes. (Midnight, FREE, all ages)

Monday, April 20 – The 119th Boston Marathon
I guess it’s possible that someone reading this doesn’t already know that the 119th Boston Marathon is happening Monday. Then again, it’s pretty much the best event that happens all year — we did a whole Best in Boston awards program where it won Best Annual Event. So yeah, it gets a blurb. You can also see last year’s men’s winner Meb Keflezighi talk about his book Friday at the Old South Church, grab some free swag at the John Hancock Sports & Fitness Expo Friday through Sunday at the Hynes Convention Center, or see The Finishers, a new documentary about the father-and-son team of Dick and Rick Hoyt, on Sunday night as part of the Belmont World Film series. (9 a.m., FREE, all ages)

Photo credit: Howard Walsh/Creative Commons


This article was provided by our content partner, The Boston Calendar.