The Boston Police Department has a rather comprehensive code of conduct, as evidenced by the document itself, recently dug up by our the public records specialists at MuckRock. Reasonably so, as the police are watched closely, and carry a pretty decent chunk of responsibility. 

There are few things that stand out when flipping through this manual. Section 12 instructs officers to stay awake on the job– pretty standard. Section 16 details the BPD’s drug policy– best not to do drugs if you’re a police officer. Section 9 reminds employees to be respectful and civil to the general public– a rule demonstrated perfectly by this officer who lent a jacket to Julian Edelman during yesterday’s Super Bowl Parade (although carrying guns like these in public is an offense, so technically the officer was just doing his job).

But in a city where we’ve rallied around the scruffy appearances of a team of “Idiots,” the same city that was named the most facial hair friendly city in America, it’s a surprise to see such a strict grooming policy for our officers:

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No hair overhanging a shirt collar? No sideburns past the bottom of the ear? No portion of the mustache will extend below the upper lipline (that’s arguably the best part of the mustache!)? 

This policy sounds familiar, doesn’t it Johnny Damon?

In 1973, observing the sloppy appearance of Thurman Munson during a singing of the National Anthem, former Yankees owner George Steinbrenner enacted the following grooming policy for his baseball team:

All players, coaches and male executives are forbidden to display any facial hair other than mustaches (except for religious reasons), and scalp hair may not be grown below the collar. Long sideburns and “mutton chops” are not specifically banned.

Some similarities, some differences, but in all, the mere fact that the Yankees don’t allow beards of any kind may give them the distinction of being lamer. It’s a good thing, too, or else we would have never been blessed with this handsome mug:


 [h/t MuckRock]