The newest edition of Monopoly (called Monopoly: Here and Now) is replacing old Atlantic City street names with US cities, one of which is Boston. But instead of sticking us in our rightful place in the Boardwalk and Park Place neighborhood — or at least in the dark green spots — Boston is stuck in the red zone. With Milwaukee and Detroit. Ouch.
Don’t get me wrong, Milwaukee is a wonderful city, and Detroit earned its red space after spending 17 months quite literally in the red, but Boston deserves better than this.
We only have ourselves to blame for Boston’s positions on the board, as the properties were determined via online voting on Buzzfeed. That’s why the coveted dark blue properties are represented by Minneapolis (a great city for the two months it’s not winter) and Pierre, South Dakota (population: 13,646). Boston finished 10th in the online voting, behind world-class cities like Virginia Beach and Charleston, South Carolina.
Sorry we were too busy jumping in snow banks and fighting over space savers to waste our time on your popularity contest, Uncle Pennybags. And by the way, isn’t a democratic vote antithetical to the baldly capitalistic ideals espoused in your game?
Big ups to Portsmouth, New Hampshire, for making it on the board as a light blue property, though. We were pulling for you guys.