Some say he’s an elite signal caller. Some think he’s the next evolutionary step in pro quarterbacking, a scary amalgamation of athleticism and accuracy packed into a 6’4″, 240-pound frame.
Others know the truth: Andrew Luck is a giant from the mountains who will terrorize your village.
He will eat your livestock.
All of it. He will eat all of the livestock.
When he’s done eating the livestock, he will return to his lair in the mountains.
He will awkwardly climb the stalky walls of the village to get to this mountain lair.
Do not look at him as he does this. He may become self-conscious, and fall.
If this happens he’ll get mad, climbing back down the plant-covered village walls as spittle flies from his ample neckbeard.
Then, he might eat a villager.
If he eats a villager, just look at the ground.
Seriously, don’t look. He’s a giant from the mountains.