St. Louis may be a perfectly nice town full of perfectly nice midwestern folk who say perfectly nice midwestern things like “not too bad” and “don’t cha know” (we assume). In Boston, we’re just not that nice. Here are five reasons completely unrelated to the action on the field that the unofficial capital of New England deserves this World Series victory more than St. Louis.
Boston sports fans are meaner (so obviously we care more)
St. Louis residents deserve to be proud of their national perception as a friendly city. Unfortunately, that doesn’t help get wins when your team is in the World Series, Super Bowl, or Stanley Cup. But then again, it’s not like the Rams or Blues have been to the Super Bowl or Stanley Cup anytime in the past decade. Bostonians support their team by making opposing fans feel unwelcome whether they’re attending a Patriots preseason game or Game 6 at Fenway Park. And that’s how fans should be. Does it help get wins? Who knows, but it’s fun. The closest thing STL gets to rude is this sign (pictured), which, OK, it’s kind of clever. But it’s not mean. Where are them fighting words?
Our city has more than one recognizable landmark
St. Louis has the arch. In Boston, you can’t walk five feet without tripping over history. This is the birthplace of the American Revolution. Without those rowdy and rebellious Bostonians way back when, St. Louis and the rest of the country could be under a Union Jack right now. Alright, maybe Boston plays the historical significance card too much, but like we said, it’s all around those who live here. When you walk down Tremont Street in the heart of downtown Boston, you pass the final resting place of Paul Revere and Sam Adams. If you took the MBTA to get downtown, you used America’s oldest public transit system … in case you couldn’t tell by the condition of your trolley car. Bostonians love them some American history and St. Louis just can’t match up. Sure, Missouri was part of the Louisiana Purchase but that means that it was once owned by France. You lose this fight just for that, STL.
Boston’s beer is better
Yeah, I said it. St. Louis is famous for its brews but how many people would say its most famous beer is their favorite? Over here in New England, we’re a hotbed of delicious drinks, thanks to Samuel Adams, Harpoon, Shipyard, Ipswich, New England Brewing Co., among others. While these breweries are based all over the region, any Bostonian can find these local brews around the city without much trouble. Boston sees your Urban Chestnut Wolpertinger and raises you a Harpoon Munich Dark, St. Louis.
Our other teams know how to win
Since 2001, Boston pro sports teams have made the playoffs 33 times and won seven world championships. The Bruins have made it to the Stanley Cup in two of the past three seasons alone. The Patriots have won three of its five Super Bowl appearances in the new millennium. St. Louis’ lack of championships across the board as of late might make others more sympathetic toward its fans. Unfortunately for the perfectly nice natives of St. Louis, one World Series trophy will not be enough to fill the void of disappointment the Rams and Blues bring every NFL and NHL season. Once the Fall Classic is over, the Rams will still be losing football games. The Cardinals are a great baseball franchise that has won the World Series twice in the past seven seasons but one good team just isn’t enough. At least that’s how Boston sees things.
Like Boston, St. Louis residents would no doubt enjoy the World Series trophy coming to their city. The difference is that St. Louis fans would win the title, have a swell little parade through downtown, and that would be the last anyone heard of their victory until next season. Boston fans will tell any out-of-towner they meet at Tavern in the Square or McGreevy’s about the latest trophy coming to Fenway all offseason long. When Bostonians flee the frigid tundra for vacations soon, they’ll tell whoever they meet on their travels about how great the Red Sox were this season. It’s no secret Boston fans love to brag and they will make sure everyone else remembers who won the World Series in 2013 all the way until next October. And probably awhile after that.