Today on the Internet I learned that Socrates and/or Eleanor Roosevelt said that only “average minds” discuss events. Looking at this weekend’s slate of awesome events happening in Boston, you know what? Guilty as charged, Socrates/Eleanor Roosevelt. Guilty as charged.
1. | Thursday, May 1 – A Storied Affair |
Art Week Boston and Lit Week converge at the appropriately named Storyville, where Future Boston and Grub Street present A Storied Affair , welcoming writers and musicians to galavant and swill cocktails before the night morphs into a crazy dance party DJ’d by local artists. I don’t know, I can’t really imagine Hemingway or Fitzgerald worrying about getting pushed into the middle of a group dance circle and everyone’s watching and what do I do with my hands? My feet are OK I think, but oh God my hands. (6 p.m., FREE, 21+)

2. | Thursday, May 1 – Matt Taibbi |
Rolling Stone contributing editor (and former Boston Phoenix “Sports Blotter” columnist, yes we remember, don’t try to big-time us Mr. Rolling Stone) Matt Taibbi stops by Harvard Book Store to discuss his new book, “The Divide: American Injustice in the Age of the Wealth Gap” with NPR host Robin Young. Turns out really, really rich people can do pretty much whatever they want, and the rest of us are totally fine with this because someday I could be a really, really rich person, too, and I wouldn’t want stupid poors like current-me harshing on future-me’s buzz. (7 p.m., $5, all ages)
3. | Friday, May 2 – ICA First Fridays: Play |
If thinking about the new American oligarchy is getting you down, go play some games! Not that capitalist propaganda “Monopoly” — we’re talking mind-bending word and drawing games from the Paris of the ‘20s and ‘30s. ICA First Fridays: Play welcomes guest host Roger Clark Miller of Mission of Burma to preside over the surrealistic game night, but don’t worry, they’ll have regular, mind-straightening games like Connect Four and Jenga, too. JENGA! (5 p.m., $15, 21+)

4. | Friday, May 2 – Strip Zeppelin |
There’s a developmental stage in the hormone-flooded brain of every 15-year-old young man wherein two universal truths exist: Zeppelin rules, and OMG BOOBS. The two coincide with Oberon’s presentation of Strip Zeppelin, featuring comedian and vocalist Niki Luparelli leading a live band and an array of neo-burlesque performers giving you every inch of their love. (10:30 p.m., $20-30, 18+)

5. | Saturday and Sunday, May 3-4 – Somerville Open Studios |
Did you know Somerville has more artists per capita than anywhere else except New York City? That’s not even including all the slacker “artists” who couldn’t be bothered to fill out the census because it interfered with their “art.” The city’s annual Open Studios welcomes visitors into more than 400 art spaces, from bigger galleries like Vernon Street and Brickbottom to small studios and private homes, and hey this just some family’s refrigerator showing their kids’ fingerpaintings, get the hell out before someone calls the police. (12 p.m., FREE, all ages)
6. | Saturday, May 3 – Taza Chocolate Cinco de Mayo Block Party |
Looking at art really makes me hungry, at least to the extent that looking at anything or just having my eyes open and being awake makes me hungry, although there’s nothing like a nice mid-morning nap to work up the appetite for second breakfast. Fill up on free samples and dance to the sounds of DJ Riobamba at Taza Chocolate’s third annual Cinco de Mayo Block Party, which we have to give them credit for not naming “Taza de Mayo” or “Cacao de Mayo” or something dumb like that. (12 p.m., FREE, all ages)

7. | Saturday, May 3 – Happy Garden VII |
Allston underground variety show Happy Garden takes its standup, sketch comedy and music to a legitimate (albeit still technically underground) stage in Somerville’s Davis Square Theater, because Somerville is where Allston hipsters and variety shows go to grow old and trade their PBRs for craft cocktails. (9 p.m., $10, all ages)
8. | Sunday, May 4 – Harvard Square Mayfair |
It’s May and the sun in shining. We will wear shorts before it’s really comfortable to do so. We will blast “Walking on Sunshine” into our earbuds at a volume that will surely ruin our future ability to hear whatever “NCIS” spinoff old people watch in 2050. And we will drink beers outside. Oh yes, we will drink beers outside. Harvard Square’s Mayfair unofficially kicks off the outdoor festival season with beer gardens, four stages of music and dance, and more than 40 food vendors, including “Top Chef” alums Fabio Viviani and Stephanie Cmar. (12 p.m., FREE, all ages)
Photo credit: Carissa Rogers/Creative Commons
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