I didn’t have a date for New Year’s, so I went on Tinder and matched up with a guy. He met me at my friend’s party. At first it was fine–being at a party got rid of some of the Tinder-date awkwardness–but then he started getting really flirty…with everyone but me. I thought we were really hitting it off, but the way he acted made me wonder if I was just kidding myself. Should I ask him on another date without people around? Maybe he’s just a friendly guy. 

-Burned by Tinder

Before you do anything, make a New Year’s resolution (something I’m not usually big on doing): learn how to be okay with yourself.

This guy sounds like kind of an asshole, but you DO know what Tinder is for, right? People use it as a dating service, but at its core, it’s an advertisement that you’re DTF. So when you bring your DTF date to a party, where there are plenty of IRL options for him to try his game on, what did you expect would happen?

I know you expected he’d go home with you, if he went home with anyone at all, but that’s the problem with all dating services–you usually have to wade through a bunch of duds before you find a winner.

Sure, he might have been a cool guy and this would be the funny story of how you met, but it’s just as likely that he’s one of Tinder’s many, MANY assholes, and all he was looking for was someone (anyone) to ring in the New Year…in.

The issue here isn’t really the guy (who you shouldn’t call again because he sounds like a dick), it’s the fact that you felt the need to have a Tinder first date at an NYE party in the first place. Your invite probably entitled you to a plus one, but it certainly didn’t require it. Why not fly solo for a night? What’s so wrong with your own company, especially when you’re surrounded by friends?

No matter how you find the right guy, whether it’s on a matchmaking app or on a layover in Cincinnati, you shouldn’t feel like you NEED a guy to make your night–or yourself–complete.

So get 2015 started right by spending time on you first.

Then, if you feel like heading back to Tinder, test-drive your dates at least once before debuting them in public. Not because you’re worried he won’t like you enough–because you might not like HIM enough, and that shouldn’t wreck a good time with friends.