{“data”:[{“type”:”text”,”data”:{“text”:”**Recently I was out with friends and I told a story from college about a time I crossed a line with an ex’s new girlfriend. I got her number and called her a few times, kinda stalked her dorm, trolled her twitter feed, and basically got a little nuts about the whole thing for a couple months before I realized I was acting crazy \\(and also sort of just got over it\\). One of the friends I was telling the story to got really upset, and when I asked her about it, she said it \”blew her mind\” how unaware I was acting about my \”white privilege\” \\(she’s black\\). I apologized, because I think that’s what she wanted, but I was kind of blindsided. Was I being insensitive, or is she way TOO sensitive?**\n”}},{“type”:”html”,”data”:{“text”:”“}},{“type”:”text”,”data”:{“text”:”**\\-Single White \\(Sorry?\\) Female**\n\nHere are the best words an advice columnist has in her arsenal: you’re both right and you’re both wrong. \n\nShe’s right, your situation might not have just been a funny story if you hadn’t been a white girl; you’re able to brush it off now as \”I was acting crazy,\” but if you hadn’t been protected by the magic of your skin tone, which automatically makes you less scary to \\(racist\\) people, things might have gone much, much differently.\n\nOf course they might not have; that’s one of the problems with things like white privilege and male privilege\\-\\-you can never be 100% certain when they’re in play and when they’re not. \n\nBut your friend is also being unfair to expect you to apologize for your background every time you tell a story. I’m the benefactor of multiple different kinds of privilege: I’m white, I’m tall \\(we get paid more\\), I’m educated, I’m able\\-bodied\\-\\-all these things translate to an existence where a certain number of things, things I’m not even aware of, come my way more easily than they might otherwise. \n\nThat’s lucky for me. And it’s absolutely worthwhile for your friend to point out to you that you might have been experiencing one of those many instances. But being mad at you for not prefacing your story with it is unfair. Yes, it could have been a different story if you were a man, or black, or if your ex was three years older than you, or if this girl were a few years younger and a minor, or, or, or. Stories can always turn out differently; the only ones that are ours are the ones we went through. \n\nSo next time this kind of discussion comes up, tell your friend you appreciate her pointing out something you were unaware of\\-\\-because we should all be more aware of this stuff. But tell her that you don’t want to have to apologize for _having_ this privilege, since that’s something you’re totally incapable of changing. \n\nTurn it into an opportunity to learn from each other, and not blame each other, and you’ll both be right…and gaining something important.\n\n”}}]}