Sports
Dave Eisenberg

It’s damn near a fact: Playoff heartbreak for Pats fans is going to come like a train from hell that will smash you in the face, make a mess of your queso dip, and burn your house down. Before that, though, we can at least enjoy this video, which does a wonderful job of depicting our completely unchecked pessimism, as well as our optimism. It reflects how spoiled we are as fans and how ungrateful we are. We expect the Patriots to win, but does anyone really expect it?

The video, a “Shit (type of human) Says” montage is brought to you by Townie News, and it truly offers up some real gems of Pats-isms like,“Sometimes I yell McCourty and Arrington’s names so loud, my kids think they’re swears.”

I hear ya pal and I too have called Logan Ryan the next Ty Law. And don’t get me started on Stevan Ridley. I wouldn’t let him hold my 6-month-old nephew for eight more Lombardi Trophies. Such is life.

So here’s to the Pats and all who make up Patriots Nation. Because fuck this team. And fuck Bernard Pollard, too.