“Shameless,” Showtime’s No. 1 show-about-a-family-that-you’d-be-horrified-to-watch-with-your-own-family, returns for its fourth season Sunday night. Given its characters’ affinity for alcohol, it only seems right to celebrate the premiere with a drinking game.

We’re not talking Old Fashioneds and martinis here. That’s a “Mad Men” thing. If you happen to have a case of Old Style and a stray bottle of Jeppson’s Malört lying around, that’d be perfect. For those not in the know, Malört is the neon-green liquor that’s so iconically Chicago yet so revoltingly heinous that the “Malört face,” the expression people scrunch their face into after they drink it has become a cultural lexicon throughout the city and beyond. Feel free to sub in a case of PBR and bottle of Jack Daniels if it’s more your speed.

Leading up to Season 4, things are pretty much par for the course with the Gallagher family. Frank, the charmingly unkempt patriarch played by William H. Macy, does something to tear the family apart and his daughter Fiona, played by Emmy Rossum, does her best to try to pull them all back into orbit. So it goes every season, so on and so forth.

Regardless, the show hasn’t really shown any signs of slowing down since it debuted in early 2011. Hell, for those keeping track, Paul Abbott’s “Shameless,” the UK series the Americanized version is modeled on didn’t throw in the towel until its 11th (!) season, just last year. Something tells us that the US version has a few more storylines in the tank.

Don’t have Showtime? A heavily-edited version of Sunday’s episode is already streaming on YouTube. Play along at home!

NOTE: BDCWire doesn’t advocate drinking to excess – it’s probably best to exercise common judgment here. Drink responsibly.

Anyway, let’s get to the booze:

1. Someone laments how broke the family is
Drink one.

2. Phillip, “Lip” Gallagher, the family’s resident smart-alec, makes a wisecrack
Drink two.

3. Frank’s home away from home and the one bar he hasn’t been banned from yet, the gloriously dive-y Alibi Room, makes an appearance
Drink two.

4. The ‘L,’ Chicago’s rapid transit system, whizzes overhead
Drink one.

5. The uber-agoraphobic Sheila (Joan Cusack) says something so kind that you begin to question what show you’re watching again
Drink one.

6. Carl Gallagher, the second youngest and most impressionable Gallagher, does something vaguely psychotic
Drink two – unless he does it to help out his father, then drink one.

7. Emmy Rossum sex scene
Come on, you knew it was coming. This is a Showtime show after all – drink five.

8. Tony, the sometimes-nice cop the Gallaghers have befriended over the past three seasons, circumvents the law to help out the family
Throw your hands up in the air, drink one.

9. Jimmy, Fiona’s on-and-off again lover, shows up
Sigh heavily, drink three.

10. Things between secret lovers Ian Gallagher and Mickey, the street tough from down the block, come to a head and they exchange blows
Drink one shot, preferably Malört.

11. There’s a touching montage where Fiona rallies the family and convinces everyone everything’s going to be alright
Finish your drink.

12. Frank does something to completely and utterly screw over the family
Finish your drink + drink one shot, preferably Malört.