My ex posted a video of us (that he promised me at the time he deleted right after we took it) to a revenge porn site. I only found out because one of his friends told me about it; luckily I was able to get the site to take it down.
— WHERE’S MY REVENGE?
It makes sense the website listened when you cried “foul!”: Revenge porn has become a serious legal matter. Just last year a woman in Houston was awarded $500,000 by a jury in a case a lot like yours. Some states are even pushing to criminalize revenge porn.
A lawsuit might be more than you feel capable of taking on, which is understandable, but make sure that whatever you do, you’re addressing the real problem: what your boyfriend did by releasing this video. You have every right to seek compensation for that and to make public the fact that he did this to you on social media, dating sites, and apps like Lulu (that one lets you “rate” men you’ve dated, but since it requires men to consent to having their profiles appear, your story might not make the cut).
What you don’t have every right to do is stoop to his level.
Forwarding emails to his boss may or may not have the effect you want. Most workplaces are aware that employees aren’t fully productive all the time, and that underlings don’t always love their overlords. But regardless, your actions would have been underhanded, mean-spirited, and sneaky. You know… just like your ex’s.
Instead, publicize the kind of person he is: one who would do something as horrible as this. In my mind, releasing pornographic materials without consent is a kind of sexual violence. Many, many people agree.
If you have to strike back, strike back in kind. Show the world his naked… soul.
Chances are that once that information is out there, your boyfriend will face some serious consequences anyway. And they’ll be exactly what he deserves, because they’re arising directly out of the hideous thing he chose to do.
