Between that hero cat and the Knowles-Carter family elevator drama, it’s been hard to get much real news this week. But things have been happening here, in the city where you live. In fact, we’ve been following the news so closely this week that we can predict the future: Public transportation is about to get more expensive, and a homegrown mobster is going to be even more famous. So study hard now, and all the hotties at the bar this weekend will be asking, “Who is that charming psychic?”

A Revere woman was arrested for her seventh DUI earlier this week, after being pulled over and handing the cop a receipt for vodka when he asked for her license and registration. Hey, if you want to change your name to Smirnov, be my guest, but get off the road.

While the state’s unemployment rate dropped in April, so did the number of jobs in Massachusetts. Those lazy millennials must be working for two employers instead of three.

The MBTA will increase its fares by at least 5 percent, or a dime per ride (eat it, Charlie!). Transportation Secretary Richard Davey claims this hike isn’t nearly as controversial as a 2012 proposal that drew 6,000 angry T riders to public meetings. Maybe commuters couldn’t make it to recent meetings in time because of derailment issues or smoke-related delays. Or maybe they couldn’t hear what officials were proposing due to Green Line screeching-induced deafness.

Magic Johnson proved he is impervious to both HIV and BS this week as he rose above the racist rants of Clippers owner Donald Sterling like a champion.

Johnny Depp, who officially jumped the shark with his turn as Tonto in “The Lone Ranger,” is trying to win us back by donning a wig and makeup and a mouth full of chowdah as he plays Winter Hill gang leader Whitey Bulger in Black Mass. Even if Depp doesn’t win an Oscar for this one, we think Inman Square should get some kind of award for it’s turn as South Boston.

It looks as though Boston University’s controversial bio lab will become operational soon, no doubt prompting the timeless pickup line: “I live next to a lab that contains flesh-eating viruses. Can I stay at your place?”