Fail videos – knowing where the good ones are is a hot commodity, and probably the only reason I got Peter to go to the eighth grade semi-formal with me ten years ago. So here it is, before all of your friends get their dirty little paws on it, a long-dormant video of a kid wiping out on a bike that is simply peerless.
We’re gonna get through this together, buddy. First, an important disclaimer:
Make no mistake. Then, we are brought to the scene of the wipeout – an upper-middle class neighborhood where a young man named Jackson is taking a contemporary test of manhood. No, not shoplifting condoms from a CVS, mastering a plastic bike ramp in front of all of his friends.
First, fifteen seconds of lead-up, as his friends cheer him on with nasal, ebulient cheers of “GO JACKSON GO!” on loop.
After a long lead-up, their golden boy heads up the ramp, unaware of an unwelcome spectator. Losing a little speed at the jump…
…Jackson-heads will notice that he’s rocking a totally dope pair of plaid cargo shorts and a red Huffy. Dang…
…and of course, he eats it.
The real money shot of this video isn’t Jackson but the woman from which he emerged –
Mom bursts onto the scene with anguished cries of “THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! We’re done, everybody go.”
Classic mom party crasher.
Jackson, not one to be embarrassed, hops right back on his bike.
“Put that on YouTube! Put that on YouTube!” one of the friends shrieks as the mother bear returns to her den, lightweight bike ramps in hand. Next Christmas, she will not give into Jackson’s sports equipment-related demands.
There you have it – a perfect, innocuous moment of suburban embarrassment that we’ve all witnessed in person at one time or another. This video is just starting to get the traction it deserves, over three years after its release. Jackson and the gang have likely since hit puberty and are probably famous BMX-ers by now.