We are in week…three? four? of snowpocalypse, and Bostonians are beginning to lose hope. But there’s hope – we have gained exclusive images to items of interest we weren’t even sure existed anymore…remember clean apartments and trains that move? Don’t worry, we’ve got your back.
This is grass.
This one’s a little trickier! This is a thing called grass, and it lives under all the snow that you’ve been learning new curse words just to describe these past few weeks. Grass can do all kinds of things – it can stain your knees, it’s fun to roll around in and it distracts older, outdoorsy types from the fact that they will someday die. Remember? Grass? Nothing? OK.
This is a street.
A long time ago, “streets” were invented to provide the everyday person with the ability to move from one place to another. Streets are paved, easy to travel on, and have things called “rules” that need to be obeyed when traveling on them. In recent weeks, these “rules” have been completely forsaken into what is kindly referred to as an “anarchic wasteland with little hope of recovery.”
These are parking spots.
Painted with special lines and everything, a parking spot is where your car goes when you’re traveling somewhere. Are these spots commonly hampered by things like lawn chairs, bookshelves or babies? No, never – they are for cars and cars only.
This is your apartment.
It used to be so pretty before it smelled like you and your roommates’ BO and stale contempt for being held in the same space for too long. And warm! Remember when it was warm? And when going down into the basement to do laundry wasn’t a venture into the Arctic? Yeah, that apartment. It’s gone now.
This is inner peace.
So maybe you didn’t know what this was before the snow either, but you definitely don’t have it now. Inner peace is for people who can afford yoga classes and don’t worry about making rent, so this concept is no more for you now than it was before this winter.
This is a smile.
In order to smile, one must have command on the facial muscles and something to believe in. You might remember “smiling” from the holidays, or your last birthday, or the last time you looked in your front yard and thought, “Life is a gift and I am happy to be a person on this earth.”
Hang in there, friends, before you know it, we’ll remember what a “happy life” is. Right?