While predictable, the Goddamn Draculas win in last night’s Rumble finals certainly won’t be remembered as particularly controversial. In fact, the announcement of their triumph inspired the rowdiest audience response I can recall for newly-crowned Rumble champs. Organizer Anngelle Wood said what almost sounded like a “G” sound into the mic, then everyone went ballistic, and I thought:
“Shit. Did she say Goddamn Draculas?……Can’t tell. All of this cheering is interfering with my journalism…..Hm, who’s getting champagne poured on them? ‘Cause they’ll pour champagne on the winner, usually, right?…..Blast. There is champagne everywhere on several people from different bands on the stage…..”
Point being, people were stoked and it was loud. Had this final round taken place during pre-Internet times, I might’ve had to write this recap without knowing who won. Fortunately, there is plenty of Internet.
DUUUUUUUUDES. WILD CARD, BITCHES!!! “I WANT TO SEE PEOPLE PUNCHING THE FLOOR AND FLIPPING CARS” ANNOUNCED YELLING GUITAR DUDE JOHN CUTULLE. THEN WE ALL WENT OUTSIDE AND FLIPPED OVER ALL OF THE CARS BECAUSE WE HAD BECOME OVERWHELMED WITH RAWK AND OUR JUDGEMENT HAD BECOME POOR. THEN WE WENT BACK INSIDE AND AWAIT RESCUE PLAYED A SONG WITH A COWBELL IN IT! IT WAS THE QUINTESSENTIAL COWBELL OF ANNIHILATION!! MOUNTAIN DEW!!! USE YOUR NECK TO AGGRESSIVELY BOW YOUR HEAD REPEATEDLY. THIS DEVICE PROBABLY WON’T BE FUNNY THE SECOND TIME, BUT WRITING ABOUT AWAIT RESCUE IN ANYTHING BUT ALL CAPS IS THE SAME THING AS LYING TO YOUR GRANDMA AND THAT’S NOT COOL. GRAAAAVE DIGGERRRRR!!!! BASE JUMP OFF THE TALLEST BUILDING YOU CAN FIND!!! GILMORE GIRLS!!! GRRRRRRAAAAAAH!!!! DUDES!
Outside T.T.’s after Petty Morals, a small argument ensued regarding how many clap-alongs are excessive to include in one set. One person thought Petty Morals had too many clap-alongs. I only remembered two (maybe three?), and noticed the crowd didn’t always understand that they were supposed to clap to the beat unless the band explicitly spelled it out via clapping to the beat themselves. I thought Petty Morals had just the right amount of clap-alongs.
Not say to say Goddamn Draculas didn’t deserve to win – They did. But a guy I know thought Petty Morals got robbed, and I can understand his perspective. It wouldn’t be the Rumble if nobody complained about who wins, after all. Every entrant is someone’s favorite.
And if the Rumble was determined on originality alone, Petty Morals would’ve been a lock. They’re not the only party down, grooved-out synth-pop band in the world. They didn’t invent dialing up an old school style of showmanship. Lots of bands bust out neato props. (Where did Hellion buy the Bugs Bunny-style plastic gun that shoots the little “BANG” flag instead of bullets? ‘Cause I want one).
But I highly doubt that anyone, regardless of how jaded he or she considers him or herself to be, can walk away from a Petty Morals performance and say, “Eh. Seen it before.” Something to be said for that.
Cladin purple Count von Count t-shirts – and what’s up with all the bands in matching novelty shirts at the Rumble this year? – Goddamn Draculas demanded a toast to friendship. Shortly before they conquered the stage, as Wood and her cohort tossed free PBR swag into the audience, a dude boldly proclaimed his want of a PBR t-shirt. A nearby woman caught one and, like an adult who catches a fly ball at Fenway, only to hand it to a nearby child, happily surrendered her prize to the loud dude. He is now her new friend for life. Maybe there’s something to this “Friendship Rumble” business that was bantered about after all.
We mistakenly assumed GD DRAX intended their number “Jenny,” as an anti-ode to menstruation. Turns out, according to singer/guitarist Chris Duggan, the lyrics have something or other to do with “Ghostbusters.” He let everyone know this a bit before he – still playing, all the while – hopped from the stage onto a set of shoulders that carried him through packed-like-sardines onlookers, and over to the bar, upon which Duggan stood and finished the song. For another bit of bravado, Duggan tossed an errant drumstick over his shoulder to drummer JR Roach who effortlessly snatched it from the air mid-kit pummeling. I thought I had hallucinated that until I confirmed it via local music site Vanyaland that, yes, the blind drum stick toss actually happened in real life. Are these things possible because of hours upon hours of rehearsal….or preternatural vampire agility?
Special guest reunion bandTheInformation could’ve swooped in at the last minute and snagged the big win from Goddamn Draculas, except no one’s allowed to compete in the Rumble more than once, and the Information made the semis in 2004. For this band-epilogue of stunning mid-‘00s synth rock, I would’ve changed the rules. But that would’ve really irritated a lot of people.
[Photo credit: Derek Kouyoumjian]