Comedian Daniel Tosh’s take-no-prisoners comic persona has alternately entertained and enraged audiences for years. His Comedy Central series, Tosh.0, has flourished with the tried and true formula of playing 5 seconds of YouTube videos and making jokes targeted at 14-year-old boys. So it’s no surprise that Tosh’s two-minute rant on the Patriots is full of sophomoric observations and Aaron Hernandez one-liners.
“Here’s how Belichick’s Patriots will be remembered: Tuck Rule, Spygate, Deflategate.”
“If football is a game of inches, then anyone in your organization cheating, even a single time, taints everything from that point on.”
“Of course, it helps when there’s no repercussions because your cradle-robbing owner has a weekly slumber party with the Commissioner.”
“And if you believe Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time, you deserve to be butt-f***ed by Aaron Hernandez in prison.”
“Brady had one good year of lobbing it up to Randy Moss and every other season he’s been a game manager. He’s Trent Dilfer with hair plugs.”
“He’s a Men’s Wearhouse model married to a talking horse model.”
“Oh yeah, well that horse model is worth a billion dollars. That’s because she’s a horse that can talk.”
“And if you’re a Pats fan thinking ‘he doesn’t have the balls to say that to my blotchy, alcoholic, racist face,’ you are wrong.”
“I will be touring exclusively in the New England area this summer.”
Great, so Tosh put out a hateful, misinformed screed against the Patriots to drum up enough interest in his comedy tour. And we fell for it by writing about him!
We’d suggest buying tickets just to boo this hack, but he’s not worth the time or money. Any more attention paid to Daniel Tosh, Patriots-related jokes or otherwise, is a reward for bad behavior, and bad comedy to boot.
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