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If you’re a big Patriots fan, it’s unfortunately true that at this point there’s nothing you can do to help the team win the Super Bowl. Not even using all of your birthday cake/coin fountain/eyelash wishes on it all year, and anyways that would be a pretty silly thing for a grown man to do, haha right? So you might as well distract yourself this weekend by checking out some comedy, theater, a chili cook-off, and more events that you’ll love more than Gronk loves “69” jokes.

Thursday, January 29 – Harry Potter Movie Mash
The annual Harry Potter Movie Mash at MIT will play all eight movies at the same time on different screens so you can look for parallels — it’s like lining up The Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon except with Harry Potter movies and other Harry Potter movies. Whether you’re a big H.P. fan or you just want to catch up on the story because it’s an embarrassing gap in your pop cultural education like you’re not even sure if calling it “H.P.” back there was weird or not, this is how to watch all the movies without it taking 17 and a half hours. That’s more time than you’d really want to spend watching movies or with the MIT Marauders Quidditch team, no offense guys. (7 p.m., FREE, all ages)

Thursday, January 29 – Drapetomania
Drapetomania: Not a psychological disease of being addicted to drapes, like putting drapes on every single window like an insane person, I’m an adult if I wanted drapes I would get them, lay off, Mom!!! It’s actually the name for the new exhibition on Grupo Antillano and the Art of Afro-Cuba at Harvard’s Cooper Gallery, opening with a reception tonight. The forgotten visual arts and cultural movement that thrived briefly between 1978 and 1983, Grupo Antillano articulated a vision of Cuban culture that privileged the importance of Africa and Afro-Caribbean influences. (6 p.m., FREE, all ages)

Friday, January 30 – “Boeing Boeing”
The Footlight Club in Jamaica Plain presents ”Boeing Boeing: A Non-Stop Comedy,” a hilarious 1960s farce about a swinging bachelor, three stewardesses, and a French housekeeper. So it’s like Mad Men crossed with the Liam Neeson movie Non-Stop which was more like a flight with stops in Boringville and Confusedtown and I Was In a Bad Mood When I Watched It City. The show plays Fridays and Saturdays through February 14. (8 p.m., $17-20, all ages)

Friday, January 30 – “Echoes”
In the Brown Box Theatre production of “Echoes” at Atlantic Wharf, a young man and woman build a paradise through imagination, only to have it shattered by the intrusion of the outside world. Just a classic outside-world move, going and ruining everything like always. The two characters search to determine the difference between illusion and reality while under constant surveillance, struggling to balance their memories and the joys of their imagined lives together. (7:30 p.m., FREE, all ages)

Saturday, January 31 – Some Like It Hot Chili Cook-Off
After last weekend’s chocolate festival, Saturday’s required “wait outside in the cold in Harvard Square for some free food” event is the seventh annual Some Like It Hot Chili Cook-Off. Did you know that some cultures use chocolate to flavor their chili? Then you’ve been to Cincinnati, and it’s not terrible. (I mean the chili’s not terrible. Being in Cincinnati is still terrible). Taste traditional, exotic, and vegan entries from ten of the square’s hottest restaurants in the competition for the coveted Harvard Square Chili Pot, and enjoy music from The Second Line Social Aid and Pleasure Society Brass Band. (1 p.m., FREE, all ages)

Saturday, January 31 – The Done Zone + Pound Town
Union Square Donuts and Narragansett hope you forgive them for letting Guy Fieri name this thing and come on down to the corner of The Done Zone + Pound Town for an afternoon sampling that pairs the hottest donuts in Boston with exclusive, limited edition beers. Church of Boston hosts the tasting of ‘Gansett’s Autocrat Milk Stout and Lovecraft Honey Ale, Union Square’s classic maple bacon donuts, and tunes from DJ Frank White. (1 p.m., $12, 21+)

Saturday, January 31 – Midnight Mischief Cabaret
The Midnight Mischief Cabaret brings comedy, burlesque, live music and more to the Davis Square Theatre in A Raucous Revival! on Saturday night. Doors for the Midnight Mischief Cabaret open at 9 p.m., because Boston, but we’re honestly fine with that. Who wants to go to something that starts at midnight? Cool young people, probably. Cool hip youngsters who go out at midnight in the middle of winter wearing just a hoodie like that’s in any way appropriate. (9 p.m., $15, 21+)

Photo credit: all taken/Creative Commons

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This article was provided by our content partner, The Boston Calendar.