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Paul F. Tompkins Is Getting a New Podcast, Let’s Party
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Paul F. Tompkins is many things, not limited to being a “true gentleman,” a terrific standup and the originator of brilliant and terrifying portrayals of Andrew Lloyd Webber and the Cake Boss. His true genius, though, has always shone best in podcast form. He announced on Twitter this past Thursday that he’ll be hosting a new improvised podcast called Spontaneanation with musical accompaniment from pianist and collaborator Eban Schletter next month. More

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So There’s a Burger King Perfume Now, for Some Reason
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Thinking of a trip to Japan anytime soon? Be sure to pick up the newest souvenir exclusive to the Land of the Rising Sun: A bottle of Burger King perfume. More

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This NSFW St. Patrick’s Day News Blooper Is Utterly Ridiculous
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St. Patrick’s Day festivities were in full swing in Chicago this weekend, from the dyed green river to the excitement of the Big Ten tournament. And you can bet a pot of gold that sparks were flying in pubs across the city as soused day-drinkers bonded over their love of authentic Irish culture and green beer. If you happened to watch this completely absurd WGN broadcast, however, the sparks were very, very literal. More

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Elderly Man’s House Egged 100 Times, No Perp Discovered
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Either 85-year-old Albert Clemens of Euclid, Ohio made a serious neighborhood faux pas or he’s become the sole target of indiscriminate, protein-injected rage as his home has been pelted with eggs several times a week for the past year, with no clear culprit. More

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Barbie Experience - SPFW Winter 2015
Happy Birthday, Barbie: Here Are All of Your Dead Friends
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With a major film franchise on the horizon and a birthday to celebrate this week, Barbie has plenty to celebrate in the year ahead. But she gets all of the press – give it a rest, Barbara Roberts. Let’s focus on the more intense mystery surrounding her “discontinued” friends.

Were they the victim of poor marketing, or something far more sinister? We take a look at the big-busted ingenue’s incriminating record of friends, ahem, mysteriously falling off the grid, and call into question her extensive experience as both a cop and a detective. Seems like someone would know how to get rid of a plastic body. More

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Communist Party Of China Celebrates Its 90th Birthday
New Mexico High School Chooses a ‘Prom-munism’ Theme to Mixed Reactions
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Hollywood, grab your Black List, because you’ve got hundreds of New Mexico teenagers to add to your roster. Cottonwood Classical Prep recently voted its prom theme “Prom-munism” after an online vote in which the senior class reflected a majority vote (which, ahem, is not what communism is about but no one asked me).

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Germany Has Found a Creative Way to Punish Public Urinators
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It’s pee-back time.

St. Pauli is where all the cool people go to party in Hamburg, Germany. While it’s fun if you’re letting loose, the residents are pissed off with drunk fun-seekers constantly urinating on their walls. Since signs and fines in place have had little to no impact on partiers, the community took matters into their own hands.
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Harvard Investigating Widely Circulated, Vicious Reply-All Email Smackdown
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You would think given the school’s prestige, the gentlemen of Harvard University would settle their disputes via a round of Socratic dialogue, or perhaps a quick rowing session with the six-man crew team of their choice.

But it appears that much like roommates who won’t do their dishes or coworkers who keep eating your yogurt even though it’s clearly labeled, the preferred way to deal with a Crimson man who has stepped out of bounds is via a lengthy, expletive-filled reply-all email rant. More

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Watch 2 Snowmen Blast Each Other with Fireworks to Celebrate the End of Winter
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It’s 45 degrees today, roofs are collapsing from all the melting snow, and even though we’re likely getting more snow tonight, it feels like the winter from hell is finally coming to an end. To celebrate, here’s two snowmen destroying each other with Roman candles. More