I’ve been doing online dating and I met a guy I really like. Everything clicked, we made each other laugh constantly, and we immediately set up another date. It went really well, too, until about halfway through the dinner. Long story short, he doesn’t believe in manmade global warming. Let’s just say I do. A lot. My guess is that politically, we don’t see eye to eye (I tried to just change the subject), but otherwise I really, really like him. We have a lot of chemistry, he’s very intelligent, and…well, I like him. Do I cut this off now, though? I’m not sure I could date someone with totally different beliefs than mine.
-Politics-Crossed Lovers
Let me preface my answer by noting that I say this not as someone who believes in facts, but as someone who believes in ANALYSIS: you should call it quits now to save yourselves as much pain as possible.
Not because his beliefs are different than yours; I could never date someone who didn’t see eye to eye with me on “issues,” but some people can. Politics may not be an important interest for either of you, or you might both be good at keeping intellectual disagreements from impacting your emotional relationship.
But you’ve only been on two dates, and you’re already seeing a flag that’s red enough for you to ask for outside help. To me, that says that you probably aren’t one of those people…you’re one of my people. The “we must have somewhat similar belief systems for a long-term relationship to be viable” people.
I don’t think either type of person is preferable, by the way. I just think you need to be honest about which type you are. Right now, you REALLY like him, but in a year, when the hormones wear off, you have to like him in a different, more subdued way. A big part of that is shared interests, beliefs, and goals. Your gut is already telling you you don’t have those.
As so many politicians advise: listen to your gut.
