Whether you’re dumping someone or you have a bad feeling you’re about to be dumped, picking a strategic location for that final, devastating conversation is key. Don’t add another layer of awkward on top of your misery-fest by meeting your significant other (soon to be ex-SO) at either of your apartments. No one wants to initiate the end of a break-up conversation by asking for a glass of water or to use the other person’s bathroom before taking off.
Keep it in a public place, allow yourself an escape route, and have comforting distractions nearby for that immediate fallout period. Boston has a few great places to stage a break-up:
|If You’re a Crier|
For a quiet, tucked away table to do your worst, check out L.A. Burdick near Back Bay. It’s softly lit, but not in a romantic way. In fact, the chocolatier cafe feels a lot like your mother’s kitchen. Once your newly-minted ex leaves, this tiny chocolatier haus becomes a faux-European comfort womb. The women behind the counter are always kind, the baked goods are unbelievable, and you can drown your misery in the hot beverages they call “drinking chocolates,” which are so thick and buttery they’ll make you forget how cute she looked when she was angry.
|If You Need to Find Zen|
Once inside Copley Place, you can watch the waterfall while your boyfriend uses his best approximation of human decency to let you down easy. After he leaves, you can meditate as the running stream hits the pond at the bottom and travels back up again in some unknown, sturdy pipe. There’s probably a metaphor in there somewhere.
If you’re lucky enough to be fabulously wealthy, you can buy yourself a break-up bra at Intimacy down the south corridor. If you’re broke, you and your old, banged up trash bra can sit in the intense massage chairs without too much fuss and salesmanship from the staff. Bonus points if you’re crying.
|If You’re Claustrophobic|
If you’re allergic to grass or you don’t want to dump your boyfriend while Shakespeare on the Common actors traipse around in the background, Government Center can double as a wide-open heartbreak arena. Remember: the gross, 1970s-architecture and cement surroundings represent how hard and grey your soul needs to be. He didn’t treat you well, so close your heart up for business like the T stop!
|If You’re Nervous|