“Wet… sticky… cold… *dramatic pause*… slippery…”

People are taking Deflategate pretty seriously around the nation, but let’s focus on a bit of levity for a minute: This is Bill Belichick, the man of zero smiles, slowly and deliberately describing the Patriots’ balls at a press conference this morning.

Pundits are calling for fines, firings, and even kicking the Patriots out of the Super Bowl, but after this press conference, it’s clear there’s only one solution for all that ails the Patriots.

gold bond body powder

[h/t Jimmy Traina]